Nika Mahnič is a Slovenian writer and researcher based in London. They are a Graduate Teaching Assistant at King’s College London, while writing a PhD in politics at Queen Mary University of London. Mahnič is part of the editorial board of the Journal of Future Robot Life and the scientific committee of Danes je nov dan institute. They will be performing at the European Poetry Festival in London on 27 November, together with Muanis Sinanović. Find out more here.
We used to watch
Games without frontiers
On TV inflatable, colourful instruments
For and of
a competition
the periphery was allowed to win
That was our relay race
Our May Ball
A promise of Europe
An ever-closer union
Who would have thought
About the spectres of Visegrád
While Eurovision is my World Cup
And I want to adopt as a nonbinary parent
In 2004, no more gift certificates were needed
crossing the borders
Only then consumption was allowed
spending exceeded
We became New Europeans
White Others
We have always been
The term balkanisation stings me
Simultaneously, I am sulking
Let us stay hidden and unknown
So we will not be taken over
From whom not
It is Independence Day in Slovenia
To date:
we were established as a country and erased around 25k beings
Never forget
We call them The Erased
They were brothers and sisters from the south
It’s our shame
they got some money back
it’s our shame
They were erased by ‘bureaucratic mistake’
the government explained
There are no such mistakes
just one-dimensional men
Every country has their own southerners
Sometimes they are in the north
If you live on an island you have many borders
If people are islands affections are tourists
If you lose hope in islands
you can never swim naked and laugh
you can never drown in eyes
But remember tides change islands
Islands don’t float above the soil
There is always an entity above
In Croatia you see
FKK signs on beaches
Freikörperkultur
Where I never saw Croatian nuts
I always wondered why there are so many FKK camps
Oh right, camps
Croatia collaborated with the Third Reich
Then I understood why they were more % Aryan than Slovenes
It was written in the museum in Berlin, topology of terror
I thought Aryan is not about culture
not about habits
It was a Noe boat
I like being naked in public but FKK you know where it comes from
I like techno but you know where it comes from
I like you but you know where you come from
Algorithm not chance
I missed Slovenia today
but that was before I realised it is Independence Day
I thought of the sea
Behind which you can simultaneously see
Julian Alps and Adriatic Sea
when it is sunny
and you realise you are almost in Italy
When I miss home most
I remember my conclusion
the runway is too small
and I like flying
To be independent from Slovenia
Home is where boobs and books are
Let this city eat your joy
Let it eat
Let It sing
Override your happiness and catastrophe
How often the background
The desktop
Of your home office
Is your hometown
Hometown on your desktop
The small, simple and manageable one
I like talking to those who have seen me grow up
To those who know I haven’t dared open my mouth for a long time
Except when I sang
That I peed in my pants in the library
Because choosing what to read took too long
That I grew up in a block next to the library and the sea
Where there seemed to be no land beyond the horizon
Not even Italy
No West
Yes, Italy has always been The West
Where mother used to buy bananas and jeans
Trieste has never been ours
We have bananas and jeans in London
for now
No gas though
Something is gnawing at my heart in this city
Big enough to fit 4 populations of my home country
I don’t care anymore if I can ever be happy